Was it worth it?
by DMfANATiC69
Summary: Derek makes a mistake that cost him the two things that matter most to him! very angsty!
1. Chapter 1

If there's one thing the Morgan men of many generations did not do, it was be unfaithful to there wives. Derek's late father, grandfather, and many of his uncles instilled that into his head growing up. Morgan men were loyal and brave. Some say they were natural born protectors, the majority of them had a job in law enforcement waking up everyday with the good gracious of saving as many lives as they came in contact with even If it meant putting there own at risk.

Derek Morgan was no different he was a profiler at the behavioral analyst unit for the f.b.I. Has been for the past 6 years. He has saved many lives during his duration with the bau, He often got a ear full from the people that love him about how he is always so willing to put his own life on the line, they claim he has a hero complex. But its was a natural reaction for Derek just like breathing, he wanted to live up to the Morgan name he always prayed that when his father looked down over him, he'd be proud of the man Derek grew up to be.

As of today Derek knew he hadn't lived up to the Morgan expectations. Which he was disgusted with him self for. All his family asked of him was to do the right thing, respect his mother, and always remain faithful to the woman he married and started a family with. But no he didn't even do that!

That's what brought him here today. He walked into the home he shared with his wife and child. He noticed a few box's by the front door and a lot of noise coming from upstairs. He called out to his wife but received no answer. Jogging up the stairs he went into the master bedroom to find his wife packing and his daughter napping in her play pen. He immediately felt panicked.

"Hey baby girl what are you doing?" he had a feeling he wouldn't like her answer but he needed to know. "I'm just packing mine and Analia's things." Ok so this was bad his wife, his baby girl, his god given solace, his everything was leaving him he needed to stop her but the coldness of what she had just told him had him frozen in place. He needed to move!

"No your not, now tell me mama what has you trying to leave me? Did I upset you? Just tell me whatever I did baby so I can fix it" he tried to pull her into his arms and give her a kiss she backed away quick as if my touch had burned her. He felt sick, this cant be happening! Oh but it was cause she just kept on throwing her things in a suitcase. I began taking her things out and putting them back where they belonged. "Derek I don't want to talk to you ever again! Let me pack mine and lia's things in peace. You can keep on putting my things back but it doesn't make a difference we are still moving out either way all those things are replaceable, I can always buy new ones!" he didn't know what to do he wished there were some magic words he could say to make her stay.

"Why don't you want to talk to me ever again? You cant leave me baby I wont allow it you're my everything I love you and our daughter to death if you left me my world wouldn't make any sense please tell me what's wrong I'm begging you! Are you pregnant? Last time you were this emotional and upset you were and if that's the case talk to me beautiful let me take care of you-" he was cut off as he watched pen remove her wedding ring from her finger set it on the dresser, pick up the baby and walk out the room to go down stairs. He raced after her pleading for her not to do this. "Please baby girl don't go your killing me here I don't even know what I did wrong I want to fix it, please let me fix it I love you!" when they got downstairs she laid Lia down in her baby hammock. I tried to hold her and give her a kiss she yanked away from me and that's when she finally spoke.

"You make me sick, you see that I'm leaving so you start telling me how you love us how were your everything.. But truly were not. My beautiful daughter and I aren't enough for you hot stuff, obviously if we were you wouldn't of been cheating on me! Using my daughter and I just for show, well sorry to ruin all the fun you've been having while I've been busy here raising the daughter you were supposed to raise with me but the fun you've been having behind your wife's back ends right now! Want to know why Derek? Because we are over, have been from the moment you met Tamara Barnes. I want a divorce sooner rather then later! Pen spat at Derek angrily, crying her eyes out she looked so heart broken. The one man that vowed to never do any of these things had officially broken her.

They just stared at each other for a few moment tears streaming down both of there faces, they heard a little giggle and looked over. Lia must of woken up when pen was yelling at Derek. Pen walked towards her immediately wiping the tears from her face to give her four month old the most sincere smile she could. "Hey my gorgeous baby what are you over here giggling about huh?" Lia just smiled at her mommy and giggled again. "Your such a happy baby girl, are you ready to go bye bye?" pen picked the baby up then grabbed her purse and made her way toward the door to leave.

Derek hadn't sed anything just watched his daughter and now soon to be ex wife gosh, he hated that! No, no, no this cant happen I cant let her leave me. "Pen I'm sorry, I know that's not good enough but baby please I'm begging you PLEASE don't leave me. I love you and Lia so much life without you two here isn't a life worth living to me. I'm so sorry ill do whatever it takes to make it work with you baby" Derek was on his knees begging for forgiveness. "Your bridges are burned with me Derek you and I are exactly that 'you' and 'I' no longer a 'us' You want to apologize handsome? Apologize to our daughter, for lying to her when you sed you were at work doing paper work when truthfully you were with another woman who wasn't her mommy. Its completely your loss Derek you could have been here spending time with her. I couldn't imagine spending my evenings any other way. And most importantly apologize to her for not being a daddy to her because Derek I can find myself a husband that wont cheat on me but Lia.. She'll never find another daddy that'll love her as much as her real daddy should of" with that sed pen walked outside to her suv put her baby girl in her car seat jumped in the driver seat Derek had followed her out and was pleading again for her not to go she glanced at him before starting the vehicle and sed " I just have one question. Was it worth it? and despites his protest she drove off to start a new life away from Derek.

He just stood there for an hour after she drove off trying to let everything that just happened sink in. He walked back inside the first thing he glanced at was a picture frame that had a picture of the two of them on the left, a ultra sound of analia in the middle, and there first family photo on the right picking it up he cried "No baby girl's it wasn't worth it, nothings worth loosing you two."

A/n: what you think ? Leave it a one shot or elaborate ? Let me know J


	2. Chapter 2

Paste your

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Derek walked into work the following day he was sure he had a lot of angry people to deal with but he didn't want to take a chance of not coming to work and his baby girl be here. Getting off the elevator he heard people passing by telling him good morning. He ignored them, what the hell was good about this morning? Walking into the bull pen he saw reid, Emily and, j.j. in the break room drinking coffee listening to reid do most of the talking. Everything seemed pretty normal know one has tried to attack him yet that had to be a good sign… right?

Maybe pen decided to not tell anyone and remain working here. He knew that was wishful thinking but he hoped that was the case cause if last night was any indication, he would have many sleepless, lonely night ahead of him. Walking into his office he sat down in his chair (the chair that pen bought him for his birthday last year that had a built in massager) reaching over to turn his lap top on he notices that two pictures he had on his desk were gone the only one that remained was one of him his mother and sisters on Christmas. Okay so she has been here the question is when? Standing up taking his almost full of coffee cup with him he took a chance and walked over to the break room where everyone was still talking.

"Hey Morgan didn't even see you and pen come in, she already head to her office?" J.J. was the first to speak to him Emily and Reid just giving him a good morning. So maybe they don't know what's going on. Trying to answer the most casual way he could he picked up the coffee pot to pour some in his cup. "I'm not sure where she is we didn't come in together." Immediately they knew something was up. "Derek what's going on? You look like your hung over and I don't recall a time that you and pen didn't come waltzing thru here together with some nauseating, lovey dovey talk ready to take each other in the middle of the bull pen!" Emily was worried she had a gut feeling this wasn't something little but before they could get there answer Hotch and Rossi walked down the stairs telling them to go ahead and head for the briefing. They had one of the techs from the tech pool with them and this only worried her one hundred percent more.

"Ok before we get started I would like to let you all know that Penelope will no longer be a part of our team, she put in her resignation sometime last night I came in this morning I was just as shocked as you are. Sadly I have no answers for you either." As agent Hotchner finished his sentence every single one of them got up walking out the room. He need not ask where they were going he already knew but couldn't bring himself to do it this morning.

Hotch followed them out knowing it would be locked and he had the key. They stood by the door leaving a path for him to come thru to unlock it for them. Hotch took notice how Morgan stuck to the back of the group. Upon opening the door he felt for the light switched when the room was no longer dark he heard several gasps including his own. It was completely empty, just the way it was the day he walked Pen in there eight years ago and told her to do what she wanted with it. Gone were all the figurines, pictures, and fluffy pens. Taking the lead as he always does he picks up five envelopes each with a name on them. Handing them out Emily, J.J., Reid, Rossi, holding his own under his arm there were no more left. That left Morgan. Penelope's husband. His technical analyst was easy going, very loving, did no wrong to others, and was never one told hold a grudge right then he knew whatever caused their Penelope to leave had to do with her husband who seemed upset but not surprised in the lease.

Everyone was staring expectantly at Morgan. He noticed and kept running his hand behind his neck and over his head. With tears running down her face J.J. asked Morgan. "What happened Derek?" He knew it was better to just come out and say it but he couldn't bring himself to. He was too ashamed of what he had done, "Derek where's Penelope and Ali? Are they safe?" Hotch needed answers NOW! "She left me yesterday, I'm not sure where they went she wouldn't tell me." This answer was unacceptable to each one of them he was being cryptic. "Conference room now!" Hotch barked out his order everyone followed needing answers.

"Derek Start talking and no cryptic answers just the truth." And Derek decided to do just that it was no use stalling it had to come out he fucked up big time. Lost his wife and daughter, possibly about to loose some friends.

"I got home yesterday and noticed boxes by the front door. I called out to pen but no answer so I walked up the stairs hearing her in our bedroom. Pen was throwing her things in a suit case. I kept asking her what she was doing and started taking her things out finally I got a response the one I hoped I was going to get. She sed she was leaving me I could take everything out her suit case it didn't matter it was all replaceable. Ali had been napping but started waking when she heard us pen grabbed her walked downstairs grabbing her purse and shoes. I begged her not to go, to tell me what has her wanting to leave me."

"That's when she sed why. Because I'm a cheater. I begged, cried, and pleaded with her not to leave. She had made up her mind already and there was nothing I could do to change her mind." He kept his head down the whole time he spoke. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Each and everyone of his colleges were red with anger. They felt horrible for Pen and Ali know one had any idea where she could be. They all knew if she never wanted to be found she knew exactly how to do it. No one could be mad at her for it either.

"I didn't bother denying it, if she was that hell bent on leaving she had proof." Morgan had tears rolling down his face yet he let out a sarcastic chuckle. Everyone looked up at him like he was a unsub. "That's not even the worst part. She didn't leave me because I cheated." This caught everyone's attention not realizing it could get any worse."I think had it just been that I cheated she loves me so much that my begging and pleading would have worked.. I know I'm wrong for that because I would have taken advantage of that also." Each one of the team sat disgusted wondering if they ever truly knew the man before them. "You know that reason she left me? She left me because I'm a sorry ass father. I cheat on her and she leaves me because I would rather be out with some other women then be at home spending time with my first and only child. That's what broke her heart. That's why she left me. I've lost the two most important people in my life and I'm the only one to blame for that. Penelope is the most selfless person in this world and I took advantage of her." Morgan scoffed at himself it sounded so much worse saying it out loud he knew he was a dog. "She didn't want to date me at first, told me I'd brake her heart. I promised I wouldn't, made an oath before god in a church surrounded by my family and friends that I'd never hurt her. Held my daughter for the first time promised her I'd always love her and protect her and her mother. Swore to her she's always have a dad. I broke every promise I ever made to the people I love the most. All I want to do is find my girls bring them home and start over but for one I don't deserve another chance second I wouldn't know where to begin looking she knows how to not be found. In my heart I know that I will never see my wife and daughter ever again." Derek completely broke down he just couldn't handle the thought of that.

Everyone wiped there tears tried to gain some composure so they could decide what to do next. They all wanted to go find there beloved tech analyst and mini tech analyst but didn't know if it was possible or if it was even a good idea. "I have to find her" Reid decided for himself he would find her and they would stay in contact even if she never wanted to walk into the bau ever again and he completely understood that. He loved his god daughter Ali she was the most beautiful babygirl you could ever lay your eyes on. That wasn't him being biased either pen couldn't walk in a store without getting a compliment about her. Her dark green eyes honey brown hair and her tan complexion you just couldn't help but fall in love with her. She never cried always all smiles and giggles.

"I'll have that tech dig up what she can find. If and this is a really big IF, if we are able to locate her two of us will go talk to her just too make sure they are safe. We cannot force her to come back at any means. 'I'm sorry Derek but I will not allow you to know where she is if the time comes. It could cause her to go underground even more we don't want that. "WHAT?! I want to be the one to talk to her I have to get her forgiveness so she and my daughter will come home to me!" Derek growled out he couldn't believe this. "Derek calm down like I sed she will run and hide more if you find her and you know it." Hotch told Derek using his 'no nonsense' voice. "there's no way for me to fix this huh? I'm never going to see my wife and daughter ever again… am i?" he stood up threw his chair back and began pacing the room.

"Derek I need to know a few things. Do you know if pen had money to live off of that she could have taken with her? I know she's smart enough not to use cards but I just want to make sure she has the means to take care of the two of them" Derek took out his phone. "I haven't checked I'll call the bank and see if she's got money out of the one we share but I know she had a few savings accounts also she's a compulsive saver." While he made the call Emily and J.J. began thinking of places she would have gone.. until Emily remembered there letters. "hey why don't we all read our letters maybe she told one of us for emergencys"

document here...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing!

Penelope laid on the carpet of her new home in Hollywood, California playing with her 4 month old Analia she squealed in excitement as her daughter had just learned to roll over all on her own and she couldn't of been more proud about her baby girls mile stone! For the past two days she had been trying to not let her daughter see her sad. She deserved nothing but happiness all around her and by golly she was going to get it! It was 9:30 at night and Lia began rubbing her eyes so pen knew she was getting tired. Picking her up and heading for the master bedroom she got them both ready to lay down and began rocking the baby to sleep. Only after she was fully asleep did Penelope let her mind go to the last few days.

When she pulled out of the home Derek and her shared for the very last time just two days ago, it finally hit her that it was the end of the three of them as a family. If she was being honest with herself there was never truly a them as in the three of them, in a few months. She noticed when Derek's demeanor changed beginning a few months ago but she just put it off on the cases they had been working lately. A few in particular had children involved so knowing Derek takes those the hardest she didn't want to push him to talk to her. As time went on she suspected something more to the problem with his actions but when she brought it up he was quick to assure her nothing was wrong. If she dare not drop the subject he would start kissing her to shut her up and of course they'd start having sex. The man knew how to get her mind off whatever he didn't want to talk about that was for sure!

As time went on things only seem to get worse he was extremely withdrawn from not only her but from their daughter also. If he wasn't gone on cases he was staying late doing paper work, well that's what he had said at the time she soon found out that was a lie. Pen never wanted to accuse Derek of having an affair in her heart she'd never believe Derek would do such a thing. There was still this gnawing feeling in her gut she just couldn't ignore that there was something going on. Two days before she left the team had just gotten in from a week long case she assumed Derek would want to get straight home to see Lia before she went to sleep that night but when he called her he said he had a lot of paper work to do he'd be home late. After they hung up that gnawing feeling came back full force so when Derek wasn't home by 1a.m. she called his office, no answer, then cell phone no answer.

At this point she wasn't sure how to feel. On one hand she was worried sick that he could have fallen asleep at the wheel and got into an accident. But on the other she was picturing him out with some other woman doing things he shouldn't be. Putting Lia in her car seat they headed out to her suv to look for her daddy!

She pulled up to the bureau first but Derek's suv was no where to be seen. She spotted Marcus one of the overnight security guys so she pulled up next to him and asked if he had seen Derek. Oh boy did his answer shock her. "Oh hey Pen, Derek left about 10:00P.M. He took off after the rest of your team did." Thanking him she rolled up her window and pulled out her lap top. At first she didn't feel right hacking into his cell phone network to get a location on where he was but knowing he could be hurt forced her to put those thoughts aside.

Less than five minutes later she got an address about fifteen minutes away from the bureau in the opposite direction of their home. Immediately she began driving towards it. "Derek please don't be being a bad boy! Please oh please I just don't know if I could handle what I may be about to see!" she coached herself the whole way there. Until she was thirty seconds away she knew he was up to no good she was in a neighborhood for crying out loud! Spotting his suv she kept her distance pulled over to the side where she had a perfect view on the home. There was absolutely no movement, and there wasn't a light on in the house.

She was suddenly overcome with anger. How could he do this to her! To them! To their family! In her mind she always knew this would happen she use to tell him when they first hooked up that he would find someone skinnier than her and he'd leave her but he always assured her he would never do that she was it for him that's why he MARRIED her right? She didn't think he'd actually have the audacity to not leave her before he got with some one else! She figured Derek Morgan had morals. 'Obviously not!' she stated pulling up the F.B.I.'S database to run the address of the house she was at. What came up rendered the great Penelope Garcia-Morgan speechless. Right in front of her literally and on her computer screen was the home of Tamara E. Barnes.

Infuriated she cried and cried and cried some more. She was shaking with violent sobs, until she heard the littlest most adorable noise that made her remember she had a amazing, BEAUTIFUL reason not to be crying. In the back seat her baby girl wore the cutest little smile and when she saw mama's face she began giggling. Seeing that little face told pen exactly what she needed to do. For her daughter, wiping her face she then began driving off. "Everything will be okay Analia mama promises you that baby, and mama doesn't brake promises!" The only reply she got back was "mamamamama!" but it was the only one she needed.

When Derek got home that morning he gave some lame excuse about falling asleep at work he was so sorry and what not. She acted like nothing was wrong just made him shower before touching her or Lia, he didn't ask why just figured it was cause he slept in those clothes. She kept telling him how much she loved him and how happy she was to have such a faithful man in her life. He loved it, couldn't get enough of it. Kept trying to have sex with her but of course that was off limits so she enjoyed telling him 'No'! mean while she looked for a home on the computer, an old friend named Maria she kept in touch with over the years helped her get everything all set up once she picked a new home. It took a lot of work pulling it off in two days but she managed to have everything ready to go. All letters to the members of the team, packed everything she was going to take with them, and deleted her existence so that if they tried looking for her it would pretty much be like trying to find a deceased person that you did not know was deceased.

When the day came she woke up in the morning to three pictures on her personal email of Derek and his mistress Tamara Barnes. Unless they hired someone to take pictures while they were 'frolicking' she pretty much didn't have to hack into the email address to know it was a recently made fake account by none the other Tamara Barnes. Why she decided to send them to me, "Derek's wife" that may i point out she has been introduced to before is beyond me! How i see it is If she can take him' she can have him'! She still didn't let her emotions show how disgusted she was now that she had just seen it with her own two eyes it was like the final nail in the coffin. Printing it out she put it on the bed her and Derek shared and finished packing the last of her things.

But of course lady luck was not on her side today! Derek got home earlier than expected so she ended up telling him they were leaving and why. After a small confrontation with Derek she left and hasn't looked back ever since!

That's what brought her here today. She had a beautiful home by the beach in California. Her baby girl was a natural here, she flirted with everyone loved the beaches and to be honest Pen doesn't really believe she even realizes her daddy's not around anymore. She probably misses Reid more than anyone else, she really wouldn't be surprised if Lia thought Reid was her daddy. They loved each other to pieces, she felt bad about leaving him but she prayed they would all understand and who knows maybe one day when she's over Derek she'd be able to move back or visit Quantico again.

A/N: im sorry for all the mistakes but its 2:30am here and I was falling asleep writing this but I wanted to get it out tonight for yall. Sorry and thank you for your reviews!

A/N:10/30/2012. i realize i messed up on this chapter but i went thru and fixed it to my best ability:)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Sorry it takes forever to update. Works crazy busy and been in the process of moving.. OH joy… NOT! Anywho enjoy!**

_"Baby please, don't do this to me, to US!" Derek pleaded to Penelope his wife._

_"Don't do this to "US?" Pen looked back at Derek flabbergasted by his choice of words._

_"I'm not going to play the blame game with you Derek! You want to blame me for our family being torn apart? For our marriage ending? Go for it. I guess it kind of Is all my fault now that I think about it. Had I been a better wife, maybe just maybe, you wouldn't of had to go to another woman to pick up my slack! She obviously has something that I just don't have." She then turned around to pick up their sleeping daughter and began putting her into her car seat._

_"Baby I didn't mean it that way. This is all my fault, you are the perfect wife & mother. I made a horrible decision but please just DON'T LEAVE ME! You two are my world I-"_

_Pen began to interrupt him as baby Lia woke up smiling up at her mommy's tear stained face. That smile reminded her to keep her voice void of any mad or sad emotion. "A horrible decision, huh?"_

_"You sure did make that bad decision multiple times!"_

_He went to protest, but Pen put her hand out and cut him off once more._

_"I don't want to hear any lame excuses you may come up with Morgan. Do me a favor and drop the conversation. I always swore to never argue with my spouse in front of my children. I definitely will not begin doing it now, here with you!" When she was done buckling the baby, she walked the few steps over to the coffee table to grab her purse and keys._

_Analia began to pout as Penelope walked off. Derek who was already making his way to her bent down and began talking to her._

_"What's wrong with daddy's baby girl, huh?" Lia began baby talking, smiling, throwing her hands up towards her daddy's face wanting to be picked up. She did this with pretty much everyone that gave her attention. She absolutely loved being talked to or picked up._

_Derek began tearing up more with a sad smile on his face. "I'm so sorry Lia baby. Daddy messed up, but I want you to know I love you & mommy so much."_

_Pen walked back over towards them, she willed the tears the scene in front of her just caused to cease. She put her hand on the handle of the car seat to begin picking the baby up. Derek quickly put his hand over hers to prevent her from picking it up._

_Derek looked up at his wife "Pen, please. Don't leave me. Ill treat you like the queen you should have been treated as this whole time. I'll be the father Analia deserves. Give me another chance P, even though I don't deserve it… just.. please."_

_Pen's face remained completely void of emotion. "Move your hand Morgan. I've already filed for divorce. Two days ago to be exact, when I received" With her opposite hand she reached in her purse and handed him an envelope… "This."_

_Unconsciously, Derek removed his hand that was still placed upon Penelope's hand. Glancing at both sides of the envelope he asked, "What's this?" He question._

_With a sarcastic smirk she answered "Grounds for divorce" He already had a bad feeling about whatever this envelope contained. He began opening it anyway though._

_Immediately his heart fell to his stomach. It was pictures of him and Tamara having sex. There were just so many, he went into shock for a few minutes._

_Penelope had seen those pictures twice already, once when she first received the 157 photos and the second time was when she decided to make two sets of prints of them just in case Derek wanted to be difficult about granting her a divorce. She really didn't need to even get a glance of them right now, they were etched into her brain for life and made her sick to her stomach literally. So she quickly bent down and swooped the car seat up and made her way straight for the door._

_When Pen reached for the door knob, Derek snapped out of it, dropping all the pictures to the floor and immediately began panicking._

_Pen had no idea how the hell he got behind her so quickly. He grabbed her hand away from the door knob and turned her toward him. Reluctantly she turned to him setting a now sleeping Lia down beside her._

_Derek tried to remind himself to remain calm and not raise his voice. He didn't want to upset either of his girls anymore than he already had._

_"Baby girl, please give me a chance to make this right. I swear ill do whatever you ask of me. Say the word baby and I'll do it. I don't want another man raising my daughter, I don't want another man being you're husband, making love to you, and especially getting you pregnant. Only me. I'm begging you baby, stay home with daddy" Pen remained void of emotion just listening as he spoke. Derek had both hands on the sides of her face, gently rubbing his thumbs back and fourth over her cheeks._

_Penelope took a hold of both of Derek's wrist as soon as he finished speaking, pulling them down at his sides. She then placed her hands on the back of his neck._

_What she did next completely took Derek by surprise, and gave him hope that she decided not to leave him._

_Pulling Derek down to her mouth she placed her mouth upon his and began kissing her husband. Derek immediately responded to the kiss, searching for her tongue which she complied kissing him with everything she had in her heart._

_Derek pressed her hips to his, gently pushing her up towards the door. He remained lost in the kiss. At that moment their problems didn't exist. He wasn't a cheater, she wasn't about to leave him, everything was perfect, until the need for air became to much and he began trailing kisses down her neck "Baby girl" he started to say. "I want you so badly" he was really struggling to remain composed when all he wanted to do was take her against their front door. (after they got Lia comfortable & away from the door of course)._

_Penelope pushed his face away from her neck and gave him a few small, gentle kisses. "Goodbye Derek, I can't fix something I have no idea how got broken in the first place." with one last small peck she reached for the car seat and made her way out of the door._

_Derek panicked, his heart felt so heavy he thought it would burst. "NO, Pen you cant leave! Let me do the work, I'll fix it. Analia needs us together." By now he was yelling, begging, and pleading for her to come back to him. He was extremely frustrated he tried to move his legs to go after her but they felt so heavy, he couldn't get them to move at all._

_She had already put the baby in the S.U.V. she was about to jump in the drivers seat and he knew his girl's would be gone for good if he didn't get his legs to move. He felt paralyzed from the waist down._

_"BABY GIRL, I need yall. Please I'm so sorry just come inside ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you!" Tears were streaming down his face, he didn't care if all of Quantico heard him either. He had to get his wife & daughter to come back inside and to him that's all that mattered at that very moment._

_But this time no Derek Morgan charm was going to work on Penelope. She had already made up her mind, there was no way he could manipulate her into staying. She started the truck, backed out the drive way and immediately drove of._

* * *

Derek cried out "BABY GIRL!" sitting up immediately, glancing around running a hand over his head and his eyes, he realized he was in his living room on the couch.

'You figure I'd be used to having this damn dream already' Derek thought to himself. He had been having the same dream well nightmare or reenactment of Penelope leaving him for the past three weeks. So yeah, pretty much every time he went to sleep since his wife and daughter left him.

He was a broken man. The only thing keeping him going was the thought that maybe his team or one of the three private investigators he hired would find his girls and he could make it up to them every single day they were together. He would day dream about what they would do when they were home again, he'd remind his mini baby girl every day that he was her daddy and he loved her to the moon and back. He'd treat Pen like royalty, take care of anything that was causing her stress. Make love to her on the daily, let her no how much he loved her and how he could never live another day without her by his side. They would immediately add to their family, he loved seeing her pregnant with his child. Oddly enough, last time she was pregnant it would make him want her so much more. He was insatiable. But she thought no different of. They fucked like nympho's when she was pregnant. More often then not he had to take his mind off getting her pregnant or he'd walk around with a hard on.

Of course he immediately told Tamara they weren't going to do anything anymore. (little to late for that huh, Derek?) she was not pleased with this and began screaming, throwing slaps at him, Derek just walked out her house and besides a few missed phone calls from her he hasn't spoke to her nor seen her since. 'knock on wood' Derek thought while reaching to tap on the coffee table In front of him.

Glancing over at the clock he noticed it was already eight a.m. and the team had to be wheels up for a new case in Las Vegas by nine fifteen.

Grunting under his breath at the fact that he didn't have time to take Clooney out for a run, he made his way to the office room where Clooney's bed was relocated to after Pen left because Derek still couldn't bring himself to walk upstairs into their old bed room or Analia's nursery. The day the team found out about Penelope being gone they scoured our room for any kind of evidence she could of left behind on accident. They knew it was highly unlikely knowing my baby girl but hey, no harm in trying right? Of course nothing was found anywhere in the house.

Before the team left that day Derek asked the member of the team who was least upset with him, (which was unsurprisingly Rossi. Probably because he was in Derek's shoes four times in his past life. Old dog.), to bring a good amount of his clothes and other things he would need every day to get ready for work. He did also ask that Rossi bring Penelope's robe and pillow down that she had left on the bed after she left. Along with Lia's blankie Pen had name Blanelope, because when Lia had been teething besides Penelope, that blanket was the only thing that calmed her down. Even if the team were on a case he'd bring those three items to sleep with at night. 'God I miss them' Derek thought to himself walking Clooney to the back door to go out and take care of his business.

While Clooney remained in the back yard, he jumped in the bathroom to brush his teeth, shave, and take a quick shower. When he was done he made sure to clean the sink where he had shaved just in case his baby girl came home today. She hated when he left hair in the sink 'with a passion' as she would say.

Hearing Clooney barking like crazy Morgan heads to the kitchen to let him in.

Clooney charged to the front door barking like crazy as he always does when someone was knocking. But Derek hadn't heard knocking or the door bell.

"Ding Dong"

"Spoke to soon" Derek instinctively held his breath. Every time someone came to the door he did this, praying to god this time it would be his wife.

He deactivated the alarm and opened the door. Standing their was a Constable officer holding a large orange envelope. A million thoughts ran thru his head but mostly 'Oh god.. Please don't let anything be wrong with my wife or daughter'

Derek didn't realize he had said that out loud. "No Mr. Morgan, I'm not here to tell you anything like that." the Constable reassured him.

Derek then relaxed slightly. "I'm assuming you are Mr. Morgan, but may I see your I.D. please. It's procedure, that's all"

"Procedure for what exactly?" Derek fished for his wallet but realized he hadn't put it in his pant pocket yet. He grabbed his coat off the coat rack beside him and handed the Constable his . Credentials.

"F.B.I, huh?" he gave Derek a smirk but Derek just raised his eyebrows up in question.

"Oh right, right, I'm sorry I just have a lot of respect for the B.A.U. you caught me by surprise. But here you go" he handed Morgan two very thick envelope. "You've been served."

Derek gasped praying it was just his wife filling child support on him. But wait, I don't think child support papers have to be served by a cop.. They just get sent thru the mail.

"Sir can you please sign this I'll be on my way." The constable asked handing a pen and clip board to him. Derek gave a quick un legible signature before quickly shutting the door and plopping on his couch to read what was in the envelopes.

Opening the first one it was his worst nightmare. Penelope had filed for divorce. He didn't even want to imagine what was in the second envelope.

He began reading the second. "Oh god.. No pen.. No.." he murmured to himself.

Tears streamed down his face rapidly, he couldn't control them if he cared to. His Penelope, his baby girl had filed for a divorce and asked that he give up his parental rights, to their daughter that they created together. Two things he could never imagine doing.

I fucked up so bad. If there was anytime I would love a rewind button on life now would be perfect, I'd never give Tamara a second look.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Fran, you know I'd love for Lia and I to go spend Christmas with you all, but I'm just not ready to see Derek yet. I'm sorry." Pen has been on the phone with Derek's mother Fran for the past hour trying to tell her politely that she just couldn't go to Chicago for the holidays.

"Pen dear, I understand how you feel, but Derek called me this morning to let me know that he will be working a case for the next few days. So no worries! Bring my grandbaby on over!" Fran exclaimed excitedly. Pen still was weary by some twist of fate Derek would show up and although it's been three and a half months since she left him because of his infidelities the wound still has yet to heal, she doubted it ever would. She really didn't have it in her to deny Fran this time with her granddaughter. Lord knows when she will be able to see her again.

"Ok Fran, we will go spend Christmas with you. Since Christmas eve is tomorrow I better get going on booking a flight and packing for Lia and myself. I'll send you a text with our flight arrival time." Pen smiled at Fran's excited gasp.

"Oh, I'm so excited! I better get going also. I have lots of presents to wrap, grocery shopping to do, and a house to clean! Sarah, Des, and the kids will be so happy to no you and Lia will be here!" Oh yeah… Pen thought to herself, she forgot all about Sarah and Des. She wondered if they knew what was going on between her and Derek.

"Penelope, this means a lot to me. Thank you so much for agreeing to come visit. It's just been way to long. Analia was two months the last time I saw either of you. That's unacceptable, but I blame my sons actions for that. I don't blame you at all, dear. You did what you had to for you and your daughter to be happy I don't begrudge you that. I'm proud to call you my grandbaby's mother."

Pen didn't even realize she had tears coming down her face. She quickly wiped them away before replying, her voice slightly cracking. "That means a lot to me Fran. I often wonder if I'm making my baby girl happy, if the decisions I've made are right for her. I want to believe that I am, but I get those negative thoughts every now and then and I cant help but question myself."

"Nonsense honey, you're a wonderful mother. Derek would always tell me that also. I know your doing your very best for that little girl. Don't ever question that. Now you go start packing and don't forget to send me that flight information because I'd like to be there to pick yall up! Give Lia baby my love, travel safely."

"Will do! Talk to you tomorrow, bye!" Pen tossed the phone down beside her on the bed with a huff. She really hoped everything went well the next few days.

As much as it hurt to not be celebrating Lia's first Christmas with Derek, she still couldn't bring herself to want any kind of relationship with him, let alone be around him at all.

He did the one thing that she could never forgive. Ignored their daughter to go out and cheat on his WIFE! It angered her when she thought about it to much. Just thinking… how many times did he come home from fucking that bitch and pick up my daughter and give her a kiss goodnight? How many times did he fuck her then come home and fuck me? It literally makes me sick to my stomach, Pen thought to herself as she ran In her bathroom to throw up. Something that's been happening quite often lately but Pen just put it off on stress.

After brushing her teeth, washing her face, and putting a already sleeping Analia in the king sized bed beside her, she laid down with her ipad in hand and booked the only flight available. Unfortunately it was at nine o'clock in the morning, which meant they would be waking up at five thirty in the morning. Lord knows both her and Lia are not morning people.

Boy was she glad she had gotten all her wrapping done last week when her friends Maria, Belle, and Matthew came over to help her with it. She wouldn't deny it, she did spoil her baby girl rotten! She couldn't help it though. Her girl deserved it all.

Her friends said she over did it with thirty-two gifts to Lia from Mommy. But like Pen said they weren't from mommy their from Santa Claus! That wasn't even counting the gifts from other family and friends. Yup, there's no doubt about it Analia Isabella Morgan was as spoiled rotten as everyone anticipated while Pen was pregnant with her.

Sending a text to Fran with the flight arrival time she got up and began packing for their trip to Chicago. Tomorrow would definitely be a nerve wracking day for Penelope 'Garcia'!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Derek had just hung up the phone with his mother. He had told her he was going to be working a case for Christmas to keep his mind off not being able to spend Christmas with his daughter and wife. Not like working would even help.

Derek knew he was being sneaky but he was a desperate man. He knew Pen and his mother still spoke without his mom having to tell him. His mom loved Pen and vise versa. For the past 6 years they had spent Christmas in Chicago with his family and now with it being their little girls first Christmas, for sure his mother would beg Pen to bring Lia and spend Christmas with her. Especially sense he was supposedly going to be 'working'.

Honestly he felt bad for tricking his mother but he had to do something to be able to see his girls. The private investigators he had hired have not come up with anything useful nor had his team. Although he had a suspicion that at least one of them have spoken with her. Its been damn near four months and they've all just been way to calm about not being able to find Penelope. But it's not like he could demand they tell him where she was. This is FBI agents were talking about.

So now he was headed to the airport to catch a afternoon flight to his mother's with the hopes that Penelope and Analia would be there. His feelings were just all over the place. He was scared she wouldn't be their, then again he was scared she would be there and she'd be so mad she'd leave and there'd be no way he could stop her. He was excited to just see her and their daughter, it had been a hard three months without them. He had definitely been sleeping in the bed he had made for himself.

He brought the presents he had bought for them with him just in case lucks on his side and they are there. He hoped they liked what he got them. It was so lonely this holiday season going shopping by himself. Pen normally dragged him into every store the mall had to offer, decorated even nook and cranny of their home. Outside and in. She would bake all kinds of desserts an get all nervous when she'd ask him to try them out. Yup it'd been a lonely three months.

Arriving on the plane he laid back and closed his eyes to begin day dreaming. He wondered what his daughter looked like now that she was almost four months older? Did she still look mostly like him or did she begin looking like Pen? Would she remember him? It broke his heart to think she had no idea that he was her daddy.

He still hadn't touched the divorce papers, or the request to drop his parental rights. He didn't know what Pen would do next if he refused to sign either. Its wasn't that he wanted to be a ass hole but he did not want to divorce nor did he want to give up his daughter. He's her daddy and he is Penelope's husband. That just couldn't change. Derek refused for that to change! That's why he needed to talk to her. Beg, grovel, whatever he needed to do to get them to come home with him he was going to do. He will stop at nothing. He just prayed his mother and Pen wouldn't be too mad about his surprise appearance.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Penelope was in Fran's living room helping her wrap some presents she had got Sarah's children. Her nerves had calmed down a lot since she had arrived in Chicago. She knew Fran wouldn't lie to her about Derek saying he had to work a case.

Lia began crying from her play pen where she had been napping. Pen shot up to go pick her up knowing she wouldn't recognize where she was she had been asleep since they had arrived.

"Hey my baby girl!" Pen said enthusiastically picking up Lia. "You want to go see grandma Fran?" Lia smiled happily at her mommy as they made they're way into the kitchen where Fran was.

"Oh my goodness look how pretty my grandbaby is!" Fran put her arms out to hold the baby. Lia obliged and went to her grandma with a excited smile.

"She'll probably be getting hungry soon, I'm going to go get her a bottle and some baby food" Pen left grandma and baby in the kitchen to bond while she made her way upstairs to her luggage.

Of course the only room that had a connected bathroom had to be Derek's old room. Pen and Lia would be staying in here for their visit. Normally this wouldn't be odd but this is where Pen and Derek would stay during their visits.

Pen looked at the bed and thought about all sex they had on their. Damn she was horny!

She made her way back downstairs just as Lia began to fuss. "Look theres mama with your milk!" Fran faced the baby to face Pen. She immediately calmed down when she was in her momma's arms.

"I'll be upstairs feeding her, she's being stubborn about taking the bottle. I've been trying to ween her but she just wants me." Fran nodded knowingly.

"Ok dear, I need to run to the store I forgot a few things. I'll call you when dinners ready."

Pen made her way upstairs, once in the room she sat down on the big blue recliner that was in Derek's room. She attempted to give Lia the bottle once more but she was not having it. She leaned forward to remove her shirt, leaving her under shirt on. Grabbing a small baby blanket she covered herself and began nursing the baby. Of course she immediately calmed down.

Lia began drifting off to sleep so Pen leaned to the side bringing her feet under herself and closed her eyes deciding to get some rest along with her baby girl.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Derek Morgan was a nervous wreck. He had arrived in Chicago and was now in a taxi in route to his mothers home. The closer he got the more anxious he got.

He had no idea if she would be here but if she was what would happen? All the different scenarios kept playing in his head. He just prayed she would give him a chance to right his wrongs.

Once they pulled up into the driveway he noticed his mothers vehicle wasn't there. Where could she be he thought to himself?

He paid the cab driver and got his things from the trunk. Taking a deep breath he took his keys out and unlocked the door into his mothers home.

No one was in the living room or kitchen. He stopped cold when he noticed the Michael Kor's diaper bag that Pen used hanging from the hall way closet.

He knew she was here now. It made him extremely happy and it also scared the shit out of him. '_this is what you wanted' _Derek told himself.

He made his way upstairs and went straight to his old room. He didn't hear anything so he began opening the door slowly.

His heart fell to his stomach and he had a lump in his throat. After four months there they were asleep on his old recliner, his girls. Pen may of looked completely different but that was her. Her hair was now dark brown with honey blonde highlights, her skin was a good 4 shades darker and she looked like she lost a good 45 pounds. She looked beautiful but Derek thought his old Penelope was beautiful also.

He had no idea how long he stood there staring at them but Lia began moving and Pen woke up, she adjusted the baby to where she was feeding again and then looked up.

Pen prayed her eyes were playing tricks on her. Derek was not standing there right now. Fran wouldn't of tricked her like this.

"Baby girl… " Derek stepped forward. Seeing what kind of reaction he was going to get from her.

"No.. this cant be happening!" She realized that indeed Derek was standing in front of her. She was extremely hurt. How could they of tricked her?

She shot up and began straightening her clothes up and laying a now sleeping baby girl down on the bed so she could get there things together.

"Pen… please… what are you doing?" Derek asked real panicky. Walking the rest of the way to her. She shot her hand out before he got to her. "Stop Derek! Don't touch me, don't talk to me…jus-.. Just get out!"

"Baby.. Please don't leave. I want to see you and Lia" he once again tried to touch her but Pen stopped him.

Pen couldn't take it anymore she turned to him snapping at him. "Derek what about just get out didn't you get? I don't care what you want! Its in your best interest to stay very far away from me. I want nothing to do with you. You can have your room back as soon as I'm done packing. GET OUT!"

"No baby.. I made that mistake last time I wont do it again! I wont let you leave! Please Pen just talk to me, tell me what I have to do" Derek had made up his mind he would hand cuff himself to her if he had to.

"You cant make me stay here Derek!" Pen scoffed. "You want to talk? Fine lets talk! Where are my divorce papers? What about the papers concerning Lia? That's what you can do for me! I have copies with me you can sign right now!" Pen continued moving around the room packing her things. Derek grabbed her luggage and put it behind him.

"I'm not giving you a divorce baby! And I am not giving up my rights to Analia. Lets just talk baby girl… I'm going crazy without you two! I need you both with me… please I know I fucked up but let me prove to you I will never do it again… please baby…" he knew he was begging but he didn't care. He had tears going down his face at the thought of them leaving again and never seeing them again.

"You can have that luggage along with everything else in here" Pen threw on the shirt she had on earlier that day and that's when Derek noticed a round bump at her abdomen. She had lost so much weight but he could see that she was pregnant clearly.

Pen picked up a already awakening Lia and began walking towards the door.

"I have everything I need in my arms. You will not stop me"

Derek ran to the bedroom door blocking her from walking out. "No Pen… we need to work this out. Can I see my girl please?"

"Derek get out of my way! Shes beginning to wake up. I don't want to argue in front of her. Please move I don't want to confuse her." Pen pleaded to Derek.

"Confuse her? I'm her daddy and her momma's husband. I missed her so much please let me hold my girl?" Derek was full fledged crying now.

"Missed her? That's crazy because she was always asleep when daddy came home. You chose to cheat on her mom rather than coming home and spending time with her. So how could you 'miss her'?" Pen was livid by now.

"I deserved that Pen. Please don't leave if I move. I want to talk to you and hold my girl. Please. didn't you miss me?" he reached his hand out to touch her chin. She pushed is away as if it had burned her. Derek's heart broke a little more.

"Ok move" pen hoped he'd move and she could make a run for it.

"Your going to run. I know you are! I cant let you." he knew he couldn't hold them hostage in here but he wouldn't leave their side.

Pen was getting frustrated. He wasn't budging and she wasn't giving in. it was just so over whelming. She walked back to the bed and just sat with her head down crying. Lia was still sleepy from her interrupted nap. She was leaned on her mommy, she brought her chubby little hands to touch her mommy's face.

Derek thought 'shit I made her cry this isn't going how I was hoping'. He kneeled down in front of them. "baby, I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying your sorry Derek! It looses a little meaning after awhile!" Gosh was she tired of hearing him apologize!

"What do you want me to do Pen? You name it I'll do it. Except divorce you. Or give up :Lia. I'm sorry I just cant do that" he reached his hand out and started rubbing the baby's back.

"I want you to stop doing things that your going to have to be sorry for later!"

Derek made eye contact with Pen and said "Ok baby girl, I hear you. I promise." Pen didn't say anything just put her head down.

Analia wanted to know who her Mommy was talking to so she sat up and faced away from Pen.

"Hey baby… look how big you've gotten! I missed you mama." he put his arms out for her to come to him. "Can daddy hold you?" she smiled and went right to him .

"You remember daddy?" his voice cracking as he asked the question he wished he didn't have to ask.

"Daa - EEE?"

"Yeah baby! I'm your daddy! I love you so much" he gave her a kiss and she started giggling while he played with her,

Pen stood up she had to throw up. This was just too much for her. Derek kept asking if she was ok but she just told him to get out the restroom. Pen brushed her teeth and washed her face when she was done. Derek was on the bed with the baby playing with her.

"Pen.. Baby.. How far a long are you?" Pen scoffed at his question.

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?" Derek pointed at her stomach.

"You lost your curves but I see your rounded bump" Pen looked at herself in the mirror and noticed what he was talking about.

"Probably like a month or two" Derek shook his head immediately.

"Baby, you have to be like three or four months. That is the last time we had sex." he stated nonchalantly and resumed playing with Lia.

"What makes you think it's yours?" Pen asked rather sharply.

Derek stood up with a scowl on his face. "Of course it's mine. Why wouldn't it be mine Penelope?" he kept his gaze hard on her.

"It means that, if I'm only a month or two, it wouldn't be yours, would it?" he put the baby in the play pen with her toys then stalked over to Pen.

Once he was right in front of her he asked "You had sex with someone else?"

"That's how you get pregnant right?" She replied.

"You let another man put his dick inside of you? And cum in you?" Derek was livid. He always had a sense of male pride because when he met Pen she was twenty five and had never trusted a man enough to have sex with. Until him. He broke all those walls she had built around herself. He loved the fact he was the only man to ever be inside her. He'd kill whoever she supposedly had sex with.

"Actually, the condom broke." she knew she was playing with fire but he had no room to talk. He actually cheated on her. Even if she did fuck someone. She had left him. They were separated.

"Who Pen, who did you fuck?" Derek was seeing red. He couldn't believe it. She had to be trying to piss him off.

"My friend introduced us, he's a good guy. Names Matt.." her friend did introduce her to her friend Matt.

"I'm going to kill him! I was your only, why would you just fuck a random guy?" Derek trapped her in front of his old long dresser. Putting an arm on either side of her.

"I do have needs Derek, and he was a good friend of my good friend so he wasn't a stranger. You wont touch him." pen wasn't sure what Derek was doing but he was making her want to jump him and that was not a good idea.

"You should of came home then! I will kill him! You know what? I don't believe you! Your just trying to make me mad. Baby you didn't fuck another man did you? Tell me the truth." Derek bent down and began kissing her neck.

"Yes I did, you mad? I can leave!" Remember Pen he's a cheater! She kept chanting in her head. Gosh she wanted to give in but knew it would be a bad idea.

"Nope, your not going anywhere! I know you didn't fuck someone else." he reached his hand under her shirt rubbing her stomach. "You wouldn't be showing at one or two months. But three or four months, yeah. This is my baby." he started kissing her cleavage, pushing her shirt down to suck on her nipples. "God I missed you so much baby, I love you baby girl." The baby began fussing Pen pushed Derek off of her.

"Sorry baby needs me!"

A/n; sorry I didn't no where to stop this chapter at. Pen has not forgiven Derek believe me! Not even close. More coming soon. Sorry about any mistakes I wrote this late and was getting tired but I wanted to get this up

!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Derek Anthony Morgan, what on earth are you doing here?" Fran Morgan had just arrived home from the grocery store. Coming upstairs to check on Penelope and her granddaughter she did not expect to see her son standing there.

"Hello to you to momma. Your usually a lot happier to see you baby boy than this." Derek replied mocking innocence.

"Boy, you know that is not the case! You told me you were going to be working a case, so you wouldn't be able to make it home for the holidays. That is why I went ahead and invited Penelope to bring my grandbaby for a visit." Fran snapped at her son. Normally she never lost her temper with her children but if he lied to her, that boy was gonna' get it!

"Momma, I just wanted to surprise you! Don't be mad at me, please. My girls being here was a surprise to me!" Technically he wasn't lying to her right? He was going to surprise her. He just decided not to tell her that he planned it hoping his wife and daughter would be here.

Penelope scoffed from behind him. Obviously not believing he didn't plan this to work out in his favor. She was trying to give Analia the bottle and rock her back to sleep but it seemed the baby wasn't having it.

Fran took a step further in the room, right in front of Derek. With her best 'stern mother' voice she stated "Derek for your sake I hope you are not lying to me". She held his gaze a few seconds longer before looking over to the fussy baby Penelope was struggling to feed.

"Penelope dear, I hope you'll stay for Christmas still, but If your no longer comfortable here I do completely understand and I will not hold it against you. I'll be in the kitchen cooking if you need me." And with that she brushed beside Derek not giving him a second look and made her way out the room.

XXXXXXXXXXX

If the baby had been calm while Fran was in the room, Pen knew that would have been the easiest way to get out of this room she was 'trapped' in with Derek. But, of course the babies needs always come first in her book.

Pen watched Derek out of the corner of her eye hoping he would get that she wasn't comfortable breastfeeding in front of him anymore but the stubborn man he was just sat down on the corner of the bed and rubbed his hand over his head repeatedly.

"Er.. Um.. Derek, would you mind stepping out the room so I can feed her. I try to give her bottles but she just won't take them. So If you would be so kind to step out the room, I'd appreciate it." When she saw that he didn't move, he just sat there with a stupid smirk on his face she grew impatient, the baby did also. She wanted to be fed NOW! Pen shot him a dirty look before turning around to remove her shirt, but left her bra and under shirt on, Analia immediately began sucking when Pen had turned back around to sit down on the recliner.

"Oh, come on baby girl! It's nothing daddy hasn't seen before." He finally spoke, still with that stupid sexy smug smirk on his face. 'Gosh I hate him', Pen thought to herself.

"Maybe hot stuff, but it's something you'll never touch again, and viewings will be very non-existent after this so take a good hard look!" Pen decided to play his game right back. There was no way she would ever do anything with him again. It seemed like he forgot what he did that got them where they are today. But that's okay because she had no problem reminding him.

"Baby.. I'm not going to let us end. No way in hell am I letting you and our daughter go. I'm going to make this up to you, I promise." Derek made his way to her as he spoke. Once he was in front of her he pulled something out of his pocket and got down on his knees.

Without revealing what he had in his hand he grabbed Pen's hand and brought her knuckles to his mouth to kiss. Pen didn't pull away just yet, she decided to see what exactly he was going to do.

The object ended up being her wedding ring that she had taken off the day she left him. When he went to put it back on her finger she retracted her hand back as quickly as she could.

"Pen.. Please baby.. Put my ring back on. I want every man to know that you're a married women." He lifted his hand up to show her. "Look baby, I haven't taken mine off at all. Let me put your ring where it belongs." He then reached for her hand again.

His statement brought tears to Pen's eyes. They definitely weren't happy tears. They were angry and hurt tears. "This ring?" she grabbed the hand he was showing her with his wedding band on it

"This ring doesn't mean a damn thing Morgan. Why do you wear it anyway? It didn't prevent you from sleeping with another women!" Pen spat angrily and threw his wrist down at his sides. "I bet you didn't even bother to take it off before you fucked her! But then again why would you? She obviously didn't have an issue sleeping with a married man!" Pen continued her rant while jabbing her finger in his chest. "Then you had the nerve to introduce her to me after her brothers case was solved! What was it you said 'Ms. Barnes, this is my goddess of a wife Penelope Morgan. She's eight months pregnant with our first child.' I use to wonder If that night when you so kindly gave her a ride home, was when it started. But I don't care to know anymore. It's to late." She then stood up and went to walk around him but he stopped her standing up quickly putting his hands on her waist.

Derek looked Pen in the eye. She saw the tears coming down his face but fought not to react. "Baby girl, don't say that.. It's not to late. Ill fight for you and my girl. I love you both so much." His voice was full of pain and heartache. It honestly broke her heart to see him this upset. She was so used to seeing him

In control of his emotions.

This was just so foreign to her.

She needed to lay baby Lia down. They had already interrupted her nap once and when Analia didn't get her rest, Oh everyone better run for cover. If only Derek would get out of her way!

"Baby girl, where are you going with my girl?" Derek asked panicking.

.

Derek, I'm just going to lay her down so she doesn't have another interrupted nap. Will you please move, her play pen is right behind you." Derek's features relaxed and he bent his head down to kiss the babies cheek.

"Can I lay her down please?" he asked Pen. The bent his head down and gave the baby a kiss on the cheek.

Penelope didn't even have the energy to fight him over who was going to lay her down. She was just overwhelmed and exhausted.

"That's fine. I just don't want to argue anymore Derek. I'm exhausted." Derek gave Pen a small great full smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Derek stepped closer towards Pen to grab the baby. Lia began moving back towards her mommies breast and began sucking.

He let her remain eating till she slipped right back to sleep. When he picked her up she tried to search for her something to suck on but before the inevitable loud cry could come out, Pen was putting a hot pink pacifier in her mouth.

Derek kissed her cheek and whispered 'daddy loves you' before lying her down in her play pen.

XXXXXXX

Penelope decided to just make the best of there situation. It's Christmas eve and tomorrows Christmas. Her daughter deserved to be around her mommy and daddy without them fighting.

Besides late Christmas night her flight leaves. Then she could go back to California where Derek is no where around. Yup, she'd bare and grin it till it was time to go.

She had just finished wrapping the last of Fran's gifts she had asked her to wrap while she prepared Christmas eve dinner.

Derek had pretty much refused to let Pen go in a room without him following right behind. She was annoyed at first, but then decided she wouldn't let it get to her. She did draw a line on him following her into the bathroom though. Reluctantly, he'd wait near the door for her.

Now was no different. They were all in the living room, Pen was placing the presents she had just wrapped under the Christmas tree. While Derek and Lia sat on top of a blanket spread across the floor full of her toys.

Lia was laughing and making all kinds of baby talk as Derek played amongst her toys with her.

It was so sweet to watch them together, Pen thought to herself as she sat on the couch behind them. Too bad it wasn't going to last past Christmas. As much as it hurt her to admit, there was no way she could forgive Derek and get back with him. She'd never be able to trust him.

And what's a marriage without trust? A whole lot of arguing! Penelope just couldn't subject her daughter to that.

Sitting there on the couch she began to drift to sleep. That was until she heard Derek say to their daughter. "When we get home daddy will take you in the back yard to try out the baby swing I built you, would you like that princess?"

'Why would he say 'when we get home?' Did he honestly think he'd been forgiven and I was just going to run back home with him? He's sorely mistaken!'

"Derek, why are you telling her 'when we get home'? I know she doesn't understand, she's just a baby. But you shouldn't lie to her!" Pen stated rather dryly.

Derek got up and went to sit beside Pen on the couch. Lia remained on her blanket playing with her toys happily.

"Er.. Baby I just thought you would come home so we could be a family. I promise to make it all up to you, to both of you. I need you to give me this chance Pen. Please baby. I can't leave here without ya'll right beside me." he took a chance and grabbed both of Pen's hands and brought her knuckles to his lips for a kiss.

Penelope hadn't said anything yet but she also didn't yank her hands away from him either so he took this as a good sign.

"I cant go back to that big house by myself. It's not a home unless my wife and daughter are living in it with me. Baby girl, please say you'll come home with daddy." Derek kept kissing her knuckles rubbing them on his face.

Pen saw how hopeful and desperate he looked, it saddened her to see her big strong agent like this but it wasn't enough for her to forgive his infidelities.

"Derek, you know I can't do that. That house hadn't been a home in a very long time. Lia and I have a home and a life else where now." She reached up to caress his cheek. "I'll never be able to trust again. You have to sign those papers and move on from us, that's what I'm doing." Tears fell down both there faces but she was determined to say what she needed to no matter how much it hurt. Putting her hands together in her lap she continued.

"This marriage is over Derek." And Pen felt that, that was the truth. She honestly didn't think they could ever reconcile.

Derek stood up quickly. "NO.. no baby.. don't say that! Don't ever say that! Our marriage isn't over, I'm not divorcing you. Never." Derek stated. He looked as if her words had really hit him hard. He was trying not to yell or argue, his baby was right here playing but the thought of them not returning to Virginia with him was killing him.

"Derek calm down. I don't want to scare her with our arguing with each other" Pen went and picked Lia up.

"Mama mama mama mama" little Lia exclaimed excitedly clapping her hands together.

"Yes my love, do you want to go to the mall with mama to get a few things? I know you love shopping like mama does!" Pen grabbed the diaper bag to get Lia changed and ready to go.

"Bye bye" Lia exclaimed when she saw her boots.

Derek immediately grabbed his jacket and put it on. "I need to get a few things still also so I'll just go with you." Pen knew he didn't need to get anything he just didn't want to let her go without him.

"Morgan, I was hoping to go just Lia and I, if you don't mind. I'm a bit overwhelmed." just then Fran came out the kitchen smiling at her grandbaby. Good Pen thought to herself! Maybe she'll make him stay behind.

"Baby, I don't want you to go by yourself with Lia. It's snowing and its only going to get worse." He may not want her to go because of the snow but she also knew it was an excuse in case I don't come back.

"Where are ya'll going with my grandbaby?" Fran asked.

"I'm running to the mall to get a few things with Lia. We will be back in about an hour an a half. Isn't there something you needed Derek's help on Fran?" Pen prayed she get the hint. But as Pen's luck seems non-existent today she didn't.

"Not that I can think of. Baby ya'll go ahead and go. I'll watch Lia, the weather can get really bad here. I wouldn't want her to get sick before Christmas, now would we Lia baby?" Fran stated tickling the babies tummy.

"Your right Fran, you know where everything's at so I'll be back soon. Call me if you need me." Pen bent down and gave her daughter a kiss.

"I love you baby, be good for grandma and daddy." She grabbed her purse and the keys to the rental she got to get them to the airport tomorrow night. She didn't want Fran having to take them so late at night.

Derek was hot on her heels when she made it to the door.

"Baby girl slow down, I'm going with you. The snow might start coming down harder I'd like to make sure you get back to us safely." Derek stated non-chalantly.

"I'm a grown woman Derek I can take care of myself. I'm not going to take off and never come back. I would never leave my daughter behind." by this point she was annoyed with Derek being up her ass.

"Baby I'm aware of how much of a woman you are." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I just want to make sure your safe come on mama how bad could a few hours with me be?" he asked with mock innocence.

"Lets go then, I don't have the energy to argue anymore" reluctantly she walked over to him and thrust the keys in his hands

"You can drive since I'm letting you come!" Pen demanded.

"Yes mam!" Derek smirked over at Pen as they got in the car. They both remained in a some what awkward silence the whole way to the mall. Pen's thoughts drifted off once again. But these were NC-17 rated thoughts. She wanted to kick herself for wanting to jump his bones right now. She so needed to get laid! ASAP!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At the mall Penelope got herself everything she had been needing and of course a couple of extras for her princess of a baby girl. She never left a store without something for AnaLia.

Every time she went to pay for her things Derek would reach over her and pay before she got the chance. She asked him why he kept doing that his response was 'I haven't been able to buy anything for my girls in nearly four months, just let me spoil you now.' Pen would just roll her eyes at him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Making there way around the mall Derek heard Pen say "I want that" about something she seen in a window.

Curious, Derek asked "What is it you have you sights on baby girl" out of habit (and want) Derek went for Pen's hand. Her hand stiffened in mine but I didn't let go. Every time I touch her and she stiffens is a reminder of the damage I've caused to our relationship.

"That right there! Its gorgeous!" Pen exclaimed excitedly pointing toward a Victoria's Secret display window.

She was absolutely right. It was gorgeous, fuckin' sexy actually. Oh how he would love to rip all five centimeters of that sexy lingerie off of her. He felt himself hardening just at the thought. Wait a minute, he remembered there situation all of a sudden.

'Who the fuck' did she think she was wearing that for? That's not the kind of night gown you get to just go to sleep in. You wear that when you want to make your man ravish you senseless!

He snapped out of his trance when she had just entered the store. Sprinting towards her he decided to just ask her who she was planning on wearing that for.

"Derek If you want to wait out there on the bench or walk around, go ahead. I know this isn't your ideal store." Pen stated motioning around the store with her hands. She picked up her size in the ensemble and turned to me again. "I'm going to the dressing room. When I'm done I'll call to see where your at."

Something came over me and I had to see her in that outfit. Then tare It off of her. I needed this more than I needed my next breath. She didn't wait for me to reply before making her way to the dressing room nor did she look back behind her. For which I was very glad. She'd no exactly what I was up to.

Pen opened the door to the fitting room and I made a decision to let her know I was behind her before I went in with her. If she thought it was some stranger she'd be terrified. Never in my life would I want to scare my baby girl like that.

"Baby girl." I called out to her. She turned around standing in the door way looking at me with a questioning stare.

I slid in, gently pushing her backward into the small room. She gasped in surprise.

"Derek, what do you think your doi-". He swiftly cut her words off with his mouth on hers.

She stiffened but he didn't give up. Derek Morgan was very persistent when he wanted something! He knew she was having an inner battle on whether she should give in and kiss him back. Slowly but surely she did. Derek growled real low. She gave in and he couldn't of been happier!

After a good ten minutes Derek pulled his mouth away from hers. He knew this could be a mood killer for her but his damn jealousy was flaring and he just had to know.

"Who are you planning on wearing this for?" He didn't bother to hide his anger over her possibly wearing lingerie for another man.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Pen did a happy dance in her head. She was horny as hell and no way in hell was she making the first move. Now here they were in the Victoria Secret dressing room making out like teenagers!

On top of that Derek is acting 'sexy jealous' of the man she was buying that gorgeous red number' for. Oh yeah she was going to play this up!

"Oh this thing?" She touched it on the hanger then quickly let go of it. "Just a friend of mine." Was she playing with fire? Yes maybe, but at this point she could really careless.

"I don't fuckin' think so baby girl." Derek growled out angrily. Pen wondered why this side of Derek got her so damn wet? Before she could analyze it anymore his mouth came back down to hers and she moaned in appreciation. His hands went under the shirt she was wearing and rubbed up her abdomen till he had both her breasts in his hands. Now it was his term to groan in appreciation. He squeezed them together and rubbed her nipples with his thumbs. She gasped in slight pain.

She pulled out the kiss. "Derek easy.. You know that hurts right now." He loosened his hold but kept his hands there massaging her breasts. "I'm sorry mama it's been awhile I got to excited. I forgot they were sore and sensitive. Forgive daddy." Gosh, why does this man have to be so fucking' sexy?' Pen thought to herself while Derek began sucking on the tops of her breasts.

"Is that guy Matt, you tried to tell me was the father of my child your carrying, who you were going to wear that lingerie for… huh? Tell me baby?" I could tell it was really bothering him. He was trying to mark Pen as his with his suckling to compensate for the extreme jealousy he was feeling. Of course Pen was going to add fuel to the fire. She couldn't help herself.

"MMHMM.. That would be him hot stuff." Pen said with a sexy smirk.

Derek pulled away and made eye contact with her. "Did you fuck him already Pen? And don't lie about it, I'm a profiler baby don't forget I'll know." he lifted her up against the wall, holding her there. His dick throbbing against her.

Pen decided she'd just tell him the truth. "No Derek, was haven't gone that far….. Yet."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what are you saying that you have done with that punk?" He knew he shouldn't ask. Whatever she was about to say was the truth, he could tell. It pissed him off but he knew he was being hypocritical. It didn't mean it didn't piss him off though.

"Well since I wasn't ready to fuck him yet but was still extremely horny he wanted to take care of my needs another way." she ran her nails back and fourth a long his biceps.

"Did he? Take care of your needs I mean?" he asked groaning as he felt her hands go under his shirt and snake back and fourth over his abs.

"OH…yes handsome, he sure did!" she nodded her head quickly. Seemingly sure of her answer.

Derek didn't no why he kept asking. It royally pissed him off but at the same time he felt compelled to know what she let this mother fucker do to her.

"How mama? Tell me. I want to know everything you did for him and everything you let him do to you!" he demanded she tell him everything.

"You seem angry hot stuff, are you sure you want me to tell you everything we did?" she continued to scrape her nails over his abs. when she got down to his rock hard dick, she began rubbing him over his jeans.

"Just tell me. I need to no what he did to my wife! Don't tease me woman. Not in the mood." he pushed her higher up the wall, pushing his dick against her pussy.

"Okay well sense he understood that fucking was out of the question for the time being, he asked If he could undress me. Promised to take care of my needs so I wasn't so sexually frustrated. I agreed." Derek growled angrily but didn't tell her to stop.

"Once I was left in my bra and panties he laid me back on the bed and slowly crawled upon me. He unclipped my bra and ravished my breast to say the least." Derek had never been so angry and mad at the same time in his life! It had completely slipped his mind that they were in the dressing room still. But he honestly didn't give a fuck.

"After he took my panties off he sat back on his knees. He then proceded ti ask me to do something for him…. He wanted me to touch myself for him, get myself off , show him what I like. And he promised after he'd take over. I said no for all of three minutes, then I decided what the hell! Why not. I'd touch myself for him."

"Baby girl, I'm your husband and I asked you to do that for me a lot and you never would. What the fuck why would you let him watch you?" he demanded to know.

"Because handsome, I didn't give a damn what he thought of me. But you, I never wanted to disappoint you. That way you'd never have reason to seek out pleasure from another woman. Guess I still didn't keep you satisfied." she looked so broken when she said that, Derek felt like a bigger piece of shit then he already had. But the broken look quickly left and she continued. "Oh but I need not worry if he liked it, he fucking loved it! If the way he went down on me afterward was any indication! I'm supposed to think about going the next step and fucking him when I get back home."'

Derek was at his wits end. She was his woman, he needed to reclaim her body NOW! Like hell she was going to go and let that fool put his dick inside her. She needed to be reminded who she belonged to!

He put her down and said. "Grab that fuckin' sexy thing and lets go!" he demanded.

She didn't protest just did as she was told. For that Derek Morgan was a happy man!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thirty minutes later found Penelope and Derek at a hotel down the street from the mall. Derek didn't waste any time getting Penelope naked a long with himself.

She was on her back, with Derek on top of her. She was waiting for him to thrust inside her but he hadn't yet. She was growing frustrated. "Stop teasing" she demanded of Derek. But he choose not to listen.

Pen didn't get why he was so anxious to be inside her yet wasn't doing anything but rubbing against her. 'fuck this' she thought to herself. She pushed him away and went to stand up and go take care of herself in the bathroom with the vibrator in her purse.

"Whoa, where do you think your going baby girl?" Of course, he's a hell of a lot stronger than her and he pulled her back down under him once again.

"Your not pleasing me! So I'm going to that bathroom with my vibrator to take care of myself!" she huffed trying to get back up.

"No..no..no… baby calm down. I'm going to take care of you. But I want you to do what you did for that guy for me. I need you to please mama." he didn't want her to of only done it for that guy.

"Not right now, if I wanted to take care of myself I wouldn't be in this position. Here. Under you." she looked so sexy when she was sexually frustrated. He thrust deep inside her. She screamed in pleasure and some pain from four months of celibacy then his huge cock in her.

"Tell daddy your going to touch yourself for him. Tell me baby." he stopped thrusting waiting for her to tell him.

"Oh.. God yes! don't stop!" Pen moaned not telling him what he wanted to hear purposely.

"Tell me baby!" he demanded and thrust back in her more forcefully.

"Yes..YES..Derek! Whatever you want! I'll touch myself for you baby jus.. Just don't you stop anymore!" Anything? Derek thought to himself with a smirk oh yeah, he was going to fuck her good!

"Yeah baby, Anything, huh? Fuck baby this pussy is so good! This pussy belongs to me!" he went down to her face and thrusted his tongue in her mouth.

"Yes baby anything! DEREK! Oh GOD… Faster!" he obliged pounding into her.

"Say you'll come home with me baby!" he was sneaky but oh, well.

"Yes! I'm going to cum! I'll go home yes! DEREK!"

"I love you baby girl! Come for me! Come on my dick baby! GOD.. I love you baby.. Im going to come in you. Take daddy's dick. YES!"

"DEREK.. I love you to daddy! Right there baby! Right there!" Derek put his hand in between them and rubbed her clit frantically. "Yes.. Yes …yes!" she screamed one last time as she came and he busted in her.

"BABY GIRL! IMMA BUST IN THAT SWEET PUSSY!" with a loud groan re busted deep inside her as she came right with him.

They laid they for a minute neither saying anything. Derek broke the silence with a huge smile saying "I'm so glad you agreed to come home! I missed my girls!


End file.
